Since I started college I have been slowly creating work as a self-analysis trying to
understand who I am, where do I come from, and what do I believe in. I started looking at my
family specifically the relationships between my mother and I, her mother and grandmother, her
grandmother and great-grandmother. Analyzing the dynamics of these mother-daughter
relationships is a new step of this journey. This step has led me into discussions about
intergenerational trauma, displacement, respectability, politics, rituals, and the power of prayer.
Making this work has liberated me and helped with processing many emotions through
my metamorphosis to independence. I dig deeper into this project with my mother, grandmother,
and great-grandmother to document and learn how they are so resilient, but also to free them of
the burden of holding in all of their pain by giving them an outlet. I want to go through our
family history and experiences to learn where/who I come from. I am using my camera to
capture the cathartic experience of healing and connecting with my family, the community, and
spending the last moments with my great-grandmother
During this process, I began to put each of the pieces together and became interested in
the city of Ardmore, Oklahoma as a backdrop to my narrative, and its role in raising the seven
generations of my mother’s family. My mother referred to Ardmore as a utopia as a child. She
had a loving family with strong family values. She never saw poverty in her community.
Families owned their homes and everyone had a job or owned a business. She was taught by and
surrounded by Black professionals and successful business owners. Everyone went to college or
trade school. Everyone in the neighborhood knew each other and went to church at least four of
seven days out of the week. Young people never called their elders by their first names and were
never disrespectful. Her grandmother’s family did everything together from gatherings in the
park on weekends and family dinners after church on Sundays. The families always gathered for
good food, sharing happy times, discussions about politics, religion, business, ideas, and plans
for the future. Laughter was always at the center of the family gatherings with everyone telling a
better joke than the last.
In reflection, my mother thought there was so much fun and laughter in
her family because that was the way they managed so many tragic deaths in the family. But,
those unfortunate occurrences made them strong and resilient. My mother also had great men in
her life from her father, grandfathers, great-grandfathers, bothers, and uncles. They were
protectors and providers who loved their families dearly. The mothers were the nurturers, and
her grandmother always reminded them that, “A family that prays together, stays together.”
Their families’ lives were centered in family, church, community services, and a school that
graduated scholars and star athletes on teams that won state championships in every sport. It was
the happiest of times.
Unfortunately, the Ardmore that exists now is riddled with poverty, drug and gambling
addictions, lost homes, and broken families. After integration, things fell apart. The warnings
heeded by her grandmother, “Most all the educators will lose their jobs, Black businesses will
close, youth will not have the attention of caring educators who served as the extended families
to make certain they stayed on track to success, drugs will infiltrate the community, we will lose
our moral/spiritual foundation, and the community as we know it will not exist.” All those
predictions came to pass. She also said, “When the time comes when left is right and up is
down, I no longer want to be here.” At the age of 102, in 2019, she made her transition because
she realized she was living in those times. She was the Matriarch of the family and was
strengthen by the pursuit, for countless years, to recover the 600+ acres of oil land that was
stolen from her father’s family.
In Ardmore, there is a concern that is devasting the community with many dying from
cancer due to suspected waste from the oil refineries and contaminated water, so families are
dying off and losing their land. Also, Ardmore was hit with the crack cocaine epidemic that led
to mostly black men being disproportionately arrested and sentenced harshly for non-violent
crimes. This started the separation of families. Casinos opened and homes were lost, and
families destroyed. In addition, tactics like redlining put black communities at a disadvantage.
Lack of funding in these communities led to the closing of quality schools, health facilities, and
businesses. Most of the families live in the exact same homes where they grew up, so they have
seen and felt the devastating effects of the changes in the community. Despite these unfortunate
realities of the town they once knew to be utopia, my family have always remained strongly
connected to one another. With my great-grandmother having 14 children and 181 grandchildren
(grandchildren, great-grandchildren, great-great-grandchildren, great-great-great grandchildren,
and great-great-great-great grandchildren); I have family from all sides of this story from
ministers, business owners, educators, health professionals, engineers, professional athletes,
lawyers, artists, and general contractors to recovering addicts, those wrongly convicted of
crimes, and some given 40 years to life without the possibility of parole for non-violent crimes. I
am capturing these dynamics to continue the learning and healing work for myself.
Holding space was essential to me while conceptualizing this exhibition to give thanks to
my ancestors and family and hold space for them in this institution. I knew I did not want to
solely take some pictures of my family and the town and throw them up on a wall with a
paragraph stating that someone can walk through in 5 minutes and think they get it. I wanted the
space to recall where these photographs were taken and contextualize the stories told. I want to
utilize every sense of the viewer to transport them to Macedonia Baptist Church on a Sunday
morning or my great grandmother's living room couch, and then making them hyper-aware that
this is taking place in a gallery setting. I wanted to create a show you have to sit with. Each piece
in the show is a part of a whole. The topics that I am discussing in the show are personal, densely
layered, and nuanced, but like an accordion can be unjustly simplified or infinitely expanded. It
would be impossible to display my whole family history. Through my research and experience
with this project, I understand the limitations of the archive and photography capture a life. That
is why I wanted to create a feeling or experience and use all different mediums to bring the story
to life for the viewers willing to explore the journey.
The project I have taken on does not end with this exhibition. I want to keep uncovering
and documenting my family history, and other adjacent histories. Through this project I have
found a passion for archives and filling in the gaps of Black and Brown stories. I want to
continue my investigation in an MFA program expanding my Fine Art practice by incorporating
cinema and anthological studies.